Expressing what one feels is perhaps the most essential detail of life! 'Abhivyakti' is meant for that, specifically that!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
20 years is a long time…..very long..
Situated at 22° 48' 0" N latitude and 86° 11' 0" E longitude, Jamshedpur is a city in India…but it’ not JUST another city…neither for me nor for the history of India. Who can forget the contribution of Jamshetji Tata in the Industrial revolution in India? The city is situated around the factories set up around 1900 on the banks of river Swarnrekha. It’s a beautiful city with greenery, organization and management peeping from every nook and corner.
As for me, the importance exceeds…it was where I was born and tonight, sitting in a guest house at Jamshedpur (J) near the most beautiful area called Jubilee park, I am not able to contain my excitement over the happenings today. My father was posted here around 20 years back, and that is when I was born…I, my parents and my elder brother lived here….yes two decades back…sounds like so much time…J however, it passed so quickly. Since we left the city on my father’s transfer when I was merely one year old, I have been to the city twice, every time packed with schedule. It’s yesterday morning that I came back to the place I was born….a place that connects to me mysteriously, that surely has a call for me…The reason of course is materialistic again…a training in Tata Steel, previously known as TISCO. However, my father and I finally took time out to roam in the daily market at Sakchi, eat dosa at an old restaurant and savor kulfi in the rain. I don’t remember the place a bit but it seems I have always been here, as if the place belongs to me. Suddenly, I had a yearning to see the house where I was brought up, where I was showered with the love no one can ever again give, where I was sung lullabies and where I was new to the whole world….
We started off to what is called Adityapur. As my father depicted the new locality he saw, I could see in his eyes that it had changed…or may be fully transformed. The houses were no more identifiable and there were a lot of new shops, malls and apartments. We neither had the house number nor the name of the landlord, only memories. My father started remembering things the moment we reached the street. However, among hundreds of identical houses where does one search for a 20 year old house that was 1 storey at that time, painted in white, and that was near a shed? I was getting nostalgic with the memories I never had….The air getting into my lungs was showcasing my whole life to me. It all passed as a beautiful movie in front of my eyes. I almost narrated every incidence of my life, honestly,….to the CITY. I was really desperate to have a look on the house, the house without a name, but since always inscribed on my heart. After a search that lasted around an hour, someone finally got an idea of what we were speaking…it was the same cow shed…it stood there at the same place, and now memories could no longer play hide and seek…My father recognized the house at once!!! It was THE house. I literally ran to it…I was in the true sense not able to contain myself…didn’t even think that it was not ours now…A few seconds passed very silently…without me knowing for sure because till then, people had come out of the house and my father was already in a talk with them. I had visualized the scene since childhood so many times that it all was more of a déjà vu! I ran inside the house and saw the whole of it in one go…Memories or rather visualizations started coming from nowhere when I saw the room I always slept, the cow shed I was taken to in mornings, the market where my parents shopped, the water supply pipe just outside the house, the police station where I was taken to in evenings for fresh air (:D), the door that I saw in an old snap, the field that was barren then, the courtyard where my father once encountered a big snake, the kitchen where my mother made those mouth watering dishes I didn’t eat, the corridor where I was left for playing, the place where I slept everyday munching biscuits, the gate that was intact after 20 years too, the street that saw me run for the first time, the trees that must have seen me growing up…the place that was the world for a one year old kid.
We were invited in for a cup of tea and as I sat in a chair, I could not explain the tears that started rolling out, even to me. The house was more so of a Pandora’s box for me, that held in store a willingness for me, that had so much to show me and it waited for so long, that had missed me, that had loved me, that had once protected me, that was standing there as t was amongst the tall houses that changed their looks over time, that was rejoicing my arrival…May be it sounds stupid, but the house made me cry, really, the adrenaline rush through me every other second was equally unaccountable….I was no more understanding all happenings around me, all that I could see that I had repaid a debt, that I held. It deserved a visit, for sure…It has made me happy beyond bounds…I don’t think words will ever be able to express what I am feeling now…. :)
Hey people...I am really sorry for being absent since so long...I worked on three writings during this time....And then there were some unexpected scenarios in life....Could patch up and could write I know...but writing for me comes with feeling...and that was simply not coming. And suddenly, it came out of the blue...I wrote the full thing in mere 20 minutes...at Kolkata airport...Hope you all enjoy the read...Will try to be regular though :P
Although an air travel is not a big deal today, but the first time surely counts. I loved flying back to my hometown this vacation. Read through the experience I had…J
HOW IT FEELS TO FLY???
I flew….I actually flew….Oh my God!! It was an experience worth it…..Even the fact that the medium was an airplane, can’t mar the feeling of being in the clouds….through them…. After devouring a flight today to my hometown, I feel man’s incessant desire to scale the heights of sky were surely never exaggerated. The attempts of Wright brothers was not for making yet another gadget or redefining luxury….It was as ambitious an attempt as Columbus’ …in search of something really new. I experienced the new today, after so many decades…but the charisma remains…still!
The airplanes actually disappoint you in beginning, not in terms of service but definitely in terms of huge expectations you have. But it’s short lived…really temporary, the surprises, the beauty out folds…and that too quite unimaginably. A bus leaves you to the big bird and you suddenly gaze at the windows that not only looked small from far, but even are small, just in size to accommodate your face and a little more. After ensuring a comfortable seating you are exactly in time to catch a glimpse of the smartly trained stewards and stewardesses. One can’t help from instantly wanting to live their life.
Then the plane starts moving first backwards and then forward but, to your dismay, it “runs” no faster than the bus that took you till here. It seems to move pointlessly on the runway for more than ten seconds. And exactly when you think the plane is going to bash into the airdrome boundary, you hear a sound of engines and thousands of motors and electronic circuits coming to life. A huge roar takes place of the smooth run and you have “the feeling”, the feeling that assures the heights you have never attained. The plane covers the rest of the runway in a speed that first reminds you of the time when you first rode a bicycle, then of the day your father took you for a smooth ride in evening to grocery, then of your elder brother trying to tease you over the speed he could attain on a new driver’s license, next of your boyfriend trying to show the enormous balance he could maintain on a fast running stylish bike. But finally it all passes and the flight reaches a velocity you were yet to know….and then it takes off!...The moment you had been waiting for…the big white bird streamlines to the sky. Not a moment of panic strikes you…All that strikes is the beauty….the beauty of a world you never appreciated from down there, the beauty that adds to the things when they become Lilliputian, the beauty when you see the sea, sky and land all at a time…the beauty when you can’t tell sky from the sea, the beauty when you see clouds in the sea, the beauty when clouds go past your window and you curse the atmospheric pressure gradient for not being able to touch them, the beauty when you realize that you mistook a large steamer in the sea to be a fish…and then the feeling dawns upon you….that you are indeed on the top of the world….you are IN the sky. Sun shining on the wings reflecting to your face adds sheen to your mood for sure. The beauty that a slight rain can add is still lovelier. Thin strands of rain water freshly seeping from the nearby clouds are truly a sight. The night sky is a paradise coming into scene. When you gaze down at the land….You see a panorama that resembles a Christmas tree! The small cities, the smaller houses, all drop down to a light source. The land looks far far beautiful than the sky. The propellers rotating just outside your window don’t encourage fearfulness but awfulness. It surely takes one an air travel to think of the wonderful way mankind has evolved!!!
Outside sometimes seems like a movie that could not accommodate good video effects because it’s all so perfect that it starts seeming artificial…How many perfect things have we seen anyway? So perfect a backdrop also leaves man bored in some time. And then he awaits the landing. The first sight of land peeping from the clouds is welcome. The small houses, the elongated roadways, the two dimensional view of the world keeps you captivated. Exactly then your captain informs the proximity of your destination. The plane takes a steep turn sideways and the first feeling of panic mixed with excitement brings you to senses. The plane keeps declining down and then lowers down to the airport in view. You can feel the wind gushing outside your window. And then the wheels touch the land with a slight jerk and you are back on the planet as you knew it from beginning. Fortunately, if it’s raining, you can experience a surge of water vapor from under the plane at this moment. The crew thanks you and bides a goodbye and you come back enriched from an experience of a lifetime.
Hello everyone! .... Here is my first pearl of wisdom...something very great and an attribute of only the strongest.....it’s FORGIVENESS. And I am sorry for such a long absence from the blog...but I didn’t post since I was not eligible!! Yes I was struggling hard to forgive someone who didn’t even ask for it but here forgiving was important....and I finally forgave!! The feeling is just unmatchable. I feel free now after a long time and eligible to post this now...
So, why do I choose forgiveness as the first pearl??
How many times have you faced a situation in which you knew it was out and out your mistake and you had ruined something very important....and then you beg for forgiveness? How badly you wish to hear the words “YOU ARE FORGIVEN” even when you know that forgiveness can’t mar the loss you have caused?
Rest assured, it has been faced by everyone at least once in life!
Ok, now be honest and remind yourself of a situation when you were on the other side of the hedge....someone asking you for a forgiveness over a huge loss he/she caused to you knowingly/unknowingly? However strong the emotions of the asker be, it was not possible for you to say “YOU ARE FORGIVEN”?
May be this situation has not been faced by all of us....the only reason being people not asking for forgiveness out of fear of not being forgiven.
Anyway, did you notice the stark differences between the two situations? How one wants to be forgiveN but not forgive? Truly it’s more than difficult to forgive someone and those who forgive are wise...truly wise...so, forgiveness is indeed a pearl of wisdom....
Let’s suppose you just had a bitter experience. Someone did something to you that you consider inexcusable; let it vary from ‘someone shattering your faith’ to ‘breaking you crockery’, from ‘saying something to hurt you’ to ‘stealing your stationery’, from ‘creating misunderstandings with an important person’ to ‘gossiping about you’, from ‘leaving you all alone forever after a lifetime of promises’ to ‘spilling water over your favourite painting’, from ‘a colleague destroying your reputation in front of your boss’ to ‘your best friend being jealous of you’.....consider any mistake or offence that seems unforgivable. Why does it seem so difficult to forgive in these situations? Is it that we don’t want to forgive? Or is it that we want to see the wrong-doer suffer? Or do we think that he/she simply doesn’t deserve it? Or do we feel supreme in letting him/her not have forgiveness? Or just the thought of the person pleading seems comforting? What is it that stops us from freeing the person or rather ourselves?
Mostly it is the thought of not the person but the offence that recurs and makes things difficult for us. Let us analyse this. You have been badly hurt, but how? It’s obvious that the person was not expected to behave in the way he/she did. Surely he/she was able to hurt you because you let him/her do it to you. Anyway, it’s not wrong to let people get into your comfort zone. It’s not at all wrong to trust someone. But now when you are already hurt, and you can’t revert the situation, then it’s important to forget the bad experience and remember all the good experiences you ever had with the person. It’s unbelievable the way, this solution works. Don’t let the good memories let bring any bitterness of not being there anymore, just let them fill you with the happiness that they were there at least for once in your life. As soon as any ounce of the latest offence reaches even a corner of your mind, wash it away with the sweetest memory of that person. Delete any sms that reminds you of the offence, put the destroyed painting or broken crockery out of your sight. Don’t think about the misunderstandings or the shattered faith. Just throw the offence out of your memory and you will see how easy it becomes to forgive and even forget. Let the offence out of your life not the offender. Hate the wrong not the wrong-doer.
Secondly, the thought that comes to mind is WHY? Why should such a hurting person be forgiven? Let me assure you that “Forgiveness is not indeed a great unselfish work; it’s all you do for yourself.” It’s not evident but you suffer more than the person asking for forgiveness till you don’t forgive. When you forget, a stream of greatness washes you away; you start feeling good about yourself. It seems Mark Twain always wrote with you in consideration that “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds over the heel that crushed it”. The world becomes same as it ever was. It seems a clichéd dialogue but you have to trust me....I just encountered a situation where forgiving made my life better and it’s not about my greatness or modesty. I forgave even when I knew it was too difficult and I was never asked for it, but I was selfish enough to forgive!! :)
Now there are many facets of forgiveness- forgiving others is important undoubtedly, but forgiving yourself is more important and crucial. There are times when you feel that you are the perfect enemy of yourself, there are times when you hurt a person more important than your own life, sometimes you spill coffee over your new dress you planned to wear for the evening or scold your child over some trivial issue or simply say what you shouldn’t have to your spouse just to check if he/she cares for you (sounds horrible, but happens isn’t it?)....these are the situations where you don’t even have anyone but yourself to blame! It’s not that you don’t feel for yourself, but that you feel more for that person or situation. The concept is not as simple as it looks; forgiving yourself is the hardest forgiveness you’ll ever come across! It seems easier to punish yourself, to cut your vein, to hit yourself, to refrain from food, to keep yourself aloof but let’s see it in this way- if you actually want to punish yourself, forgive yourself!Josh Billings exclaimed- “There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” And Oscar Wilde in his usual best self mentioned-“Alwaysforgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” The moment you truly forgive yourself, life becomes easier.
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~William Blake
Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule. ~Lewis B. Smedes Another difficult form of forgiveness is forgiving your near ones. An offence committed by your best friend seems unforgivable while the same offence can be forgiven had it been committed by an enemy! You can’t forgive your friend for misunderstanding you but you expect this from your enemy already! Your best friend never asked for this but you, yourself establish the difference and punish him/her like hell. You find it inevitable to shout on your mom if she stains one of your dresses but you tend to excuse your maid for the same. It doesn’t mean that the maid is more important, it just means that you don’t want to forgive your mom and you know she will listen to you and still not run away! You just take your near and dear ones for granted and this is nothing short of a dire mistake. Just remember any instance the person helped you...you will find all cases of selflessness for these people. Hence it doesn’t seem so difficult to forgive them anyway! Any mistake looks small in comparison to the love you hold for them!
Forgiveness, be it in any form is truly difficult, agreed. But, what good are you, how different are you is decided by how hard you forgive! The first and foremost, start forgiving from yourself...this is necessary since nobody else can forgive you till you forgive yourself. However wrong you do, just forgive yourself. It’s also human tendency but just make sure that you don’t repeat the mistake. It’s ok to forgive yourself after that!
Then come to forgiving loved ones. Doesn’t it seem fair to forgive them too when you can forgive anything you have done? Just let forgiveness flow through yourself. We normally stop the flow ourselves.
And then we come to forgiving our enemies. Know why you should forgive them? Because a bit of Gandhigiri doesn’t harm!!You just have to see the look on their face when you say “You are forgiven”. There will be no one more surprised than them and no one more content than you on earth!
“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting” ~William Arthur Ward “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future” ~Paul Boese
So, you see everyone can be forgiven. The reasons vary but forgiveness is for everyone! Keep in mind that the person who commits mistake suffers more than the person who faces the consequences of it. Forgiveness works wonderfully. Try it once and you will feel on the top of the world. It feels so good to become great for once in a lifetime! I was personally facing a crisis, and was not able to forgive. It took a lot of time but when I have finally forgiven, it feels like I am too strong and noblest in the world! So, go for it. Stop criticising people for the wrong they do to you and start saying “YOU ARE FORGIVEN” and see how it is received as a welcome relief. Experience how the world changes its perspective of you! Forget everything other than that every mistake is forgivable and that God forgives any and every offence if you repent for it. Take your own time but do it finally. FORGIVE AND FORGET. Come start forgiving and let happiness radiate from yourself!
When I started my literature study on forgiveness, I was amazed when I found a page in Wikipedia too. Wikipedia describes forgiveness as “A process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offence, difference or mistake.” I will let you all through a wide range of materials you will find over forgiveness, if you google. So, let’s start the play with the first scene- the common misconceptions (Courtesy: http://www.catherineblountfdn.org/forgiveness.html)
The Top 10 Misconceptions about Forgiveness
1. Withholding forgiveness hurts the other person.
The truth is: withholding forgiveness hurts no one but you. 2. Forgiveness is a passive endeavour.
The truth is: Forgiveness is a very active endeavour, where you can ultimately reach out in love and compassion to the other person. 3. Forgiveness lets people off the hook, so they aren't accountable to their actions.
The truth is: Forgiveness and accountability are not the same topic. You can have both. Forgive another by offering empathy and unity; yet still uphold the process of accountability within the social structure. We have been sent not to keep an account of other’s doing....what is important is to keep playing our own roles in the play called ‘life’. 4. Forgiving someone tells that person that whatever he or she did was acceptable with you.
The truth is: Accepting their actions and accepting their true nature underneath it all are two very different things. You can make that clear.
5. Forgiveness is for the other person.
The truth is: Forgiving another is an act we do for ourselves, to free ourselves from the pain or bitterness.
6. When you are forgiving, you are "pardoning" someone's bad behaviour.
The truth is: There is no "pardoning," just a clearer perception on who that other person truly is, and what they can still provide to your life, to a community and to a society. 7. Forgiveness is done by saying the words "I forgive you."
The truth is: Forgiveness should reside not only in words but also in thought, feeling and action. 8. Forgiving another person doesn't do any good really.
The truth is: It not only uplifts you AND that person in ways unseen, but it brings that much more light to a world in need. 9. Forgiveness is only for religious people.
The truth is: It's for all of us walking the planet and more for the ones who are not religious. May be they see some light through the virtue!
10. It's too hard to forgive.
The truth is: It can be hard, but not too hard, not when you have the right support and perspective. Nothing is too hard when you are up to it!
After I saw the above misconceptions, it became easier for me to forgive. Make use of these! Let’s see what different religions have to say on forgiveness.....
HINDUISM: The concept of performing atonement from one's wrongdoing (Prayaschitta — Sanskrit: Penance), and asking for forgiveness is very much a part of the practice of Hinduism. Prayashitta is related to the law of Karma. Addressing Dhritarashtra, Vidura said: "There is one only defect in forgiving persons, and not another; that defect is that people take a forgiving person to be weak. That defect, however, should not be taken into consideration, for forgiveness is a great power. Forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong.
ISLAM: Forgive thy servant seventy times a day.
CHRISTIANITY: Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times seven, but seventy times seven."
SIKHISM: Where there is forgiveness there is God himself.
BUDDHISM: Never is hate diminished by hatred: It is only diminished by love.
JAINISM:Kṣamāpanāor supreme forgiveness forms part of one of the ten characteristics ofdharma.
JUDAISM: The most beautiful thing a man can do is to forgive wrong.
TAOISM: Recompense injury with kindness
If you still find it difficult to forgive, I have something for you. Take a look on the following link and feel blessed that you live in a world that has something called ‘FORGIVENESS’
I hope you are now ready to forgive all harm ever done to you. I want to be honest with the readers, even I am still struggling to forgive someone from my school days but have not still been able to. But believe me; I am trying very hard for that now that I am preaching! Anyway, I have forgiven every other person and am happy to do so! I plead you to start forgiving and make the world a better place to live in because,
"Anger and rage against another person is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
Sunday, June 27, 2010
COMING UP.......
Hello friends! It’s every 30 minutes on an average that I have visited my own blog since yesterday (!).
But to be honest, nothing seems impressive enough...I had always wanted my blog to be a place where I could post something useful to the community as a whole. So, here’s what I have decided...Under the heading “Pearls of wisdom”, I will write about some topic of general interest....something that you can feed your soul on!! So, watch out for the special feature from next post onwards. Anyway, I will keep writing stuffs other than this special column also! As for now, I will leave a poster for you all with a meaning so deep that it will surely arouse enough faith in you to leave no room for doubts and worries!
A COMMON TALE: WHERE THE GIRL WILL ALWAYS FAIL!
It was one fine day,
as usual, he crossed my way.
The most annoying things, he would incessantly say,
Still at the top of my friend’s list, he’d always stay!
Gradually, he opened up and shared,
& I came to terms with how much he cared!
It felt so nice when just for my sake,
he’d often place his own interests at stake.
I was so confused the day he said, “Believe me, it’s true,
in my life there is nothing without you.”
I knew I couldn’t accept, yet I didn’t dismiss,
not to say a thing that could hurt him, was my only wish.
And then one day, as I returned awake
from the fictional world so veritably fake,
It seemed as if lotuses were replaced by mosses and hake
in my crystal clear, beautiful dream lake;
I kept watching as he walked away,
I remained wordless, even when I’d so much to say.
My faith shattered in a moment,
I didn’t have time even to lament.
I cried as if I would never again cry,
I could stop only when my heart went dry.
As many times as he framed rigmarole of lie,
my soul had learnt to silently die.
Even when before me, every truth lies bare,
Giving him all happiness still seems fair!
It’ll take a lot of effort but I’ll try,
to give him the best gift ever – “A GOODBYE”!
I realize thereafter what my life will lack,
I want nothing more than my FRIEND back;
I was a mere human, bound to commit mistakes,
But to mend my ways, I’ll do whatever it takes.
Hey pals!! Couldn’t stop myself from writing another post today....This poem suddenly struck after a real long writer’s block period. (Seems it's the BLOG EFFECT!) However, I am sorry if you supposed that this tale was my story! Well, let me put it like this- If you don’t like this poem, don’t worry, I’ll try to do better next time.
But if you have liked it, let me tell you where the inspiration came from. It was not me or my friend’s life. The inspiration is the following poem I found somewhere on internet written by an anonymous poet. It has been written very beautifully and I would really like to hear from the person who wrote it!
Anyway, it now feels good after penning down something I am actually finding worth posting....:)
I’d try to be regular though...Bye for now friends!
Have a good day, believe in yourself and DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY!
THE REAL GHOST: A GUEST!!
For a host, a guest is always a ghost
If he has come, the host becomes dumb.
But still he has to talk, or else the guest starts off about his folk!
He is not liked, because of his terrible sight;
Today, the day is sunny, and the guest who has come is funny;
He has a long nose and small eyes that look like flies.
His old fashioned coat, looks like a big boat,
His large pants make you visualize military camps
He is so fat, that on the chair he sat, mewed like a cat!
He must have sat on the large armchair with the help of a mare!
Or the table would have made him able!!
He eats almost everything, till he goes in the house is left with nothing!
He sleeps so soundly on the bed, as if he is dead,
He seems alive only because he snores so loudly that it trembles the doors!
Don’t mind, I promise if I become a guest,
I won’t be a ghost to the host.
I love my guests the most,
And never tell them “Get lost”!!
Yes, I know this poem seems a bit not too promising. Two days, since I created my blog, I was wondering about what to write for the first post. There were a few good ideas and I admit some even better than this. But this poem of mine seemed the most special one because this is the first one I ever wrote. It's a bit childish but then, when it was written, I was a child!! I am reproducing the poem “as it WAS” without any editions....I hope this won't be taken as a loss at decision making, but as a profound attachment with my first write up!!
Anyway, don't be disappointed by the first post...there is a lot more to come, not only poems but all that I want share with the ones who take time to go through posts of a beginner like me. I will try to devote some time to this blog amidst the so called busy schedule of mine. If I say writing is my life, it's absolutely an exaggeration. But I will add that it’s my passion for sure. I am bad at expressing ‘all I want’ through speech. Whenever I am very happy or very sad, the first thing that comes to my mind is WRITING!! Be it a thank you or sorry, a smile or scorn, criticism or cynicism, love or friendship, for me, writing is the best option!
And one more thing, the name for this blog “ABHIVYAKTI” has been taken from an incident of my life I always wanted to forget. But recently, I realized that “NOTHING CAN BE SO BAD THAT IT CAN’T BE WORSE”. And hence, I have stopped running away from things that scare me...Now I embrace them! I do love the name – ABHIVYAKTI.....
They say I am a person of ‘TOO MANY WORDS’. I work for a newspaper and the editor is tired of making me get rid of my prolixity! I thought maybe I should find a place where I can express myself as I want to and what would have been a better option than a blog? Still I’ll try to express in as few words as I can! (As if I haven’t written a lot in this post itself!!)
