THE CLOSING CEREMONY

THE CLOSING CEREMONY

My alma mater has been a temple, a temple of knowledge, transformation, teamwork, books, friends, meaningfulness and most importantly, LIFE! Here is the first time that I pay tribute to it….because it deserves at least a final goodbye!

the last look...

“Inside the campus, you make the world go round, outside it; the world makes you go round!! Make the most out of it. I hope you all understand it soon”, said an emotional Mr. Ganapaty Subramaniam, our professor in the engineering mathematics class in the third semester after announcing the pathetic condition of our section in a test . Few paid attention to what he said and fewer to the fact that he was emotional for a change! Today, when I am all set to start a new life outside the college, I realize that it hurts to leave. It’s going to be the most difficult good-bye. Only those who have lived this life can understand the beauty of it. Think of the colors and flavors it brings along and it keeps amazing you with its variety. The best of friends, gorgeous gals, hot guys, first crush, break-ups, successes, failures, college fests, parties, night outs, movies, valentine days, raksha bandhans (!) and sometimes studies too! Right from the ‘Fresher’s day’ to the farewells, every day does count on the calendar of happiness.  Every time I look back at my life, I become more and more assured that college life has been the best span of it.

We all have cursed the filthy assignments, strict teachers, narrow mentality, bad infrastructure, slimy management and what not?? But trust me; towards the end, everything undergoes a beautiful transformation. You start loving the broken desks, writing assignments, finishing courses, cleaning lab coats and most difficult of all, you start liking your room mate! It’s surprising to realize that you could be so sensitive to cry all alone on window for those whom you had started taking for granted. The other day when I started packing up for home, I found comic notes passed during classes, passport size photographs stolen at crucial junctures, the first rose I received, the first assignment, the test papers, the metal scraps from workshops, the never used diaries and many things that made the 4 years pass before me in a split second.

A punch in the identity card you hated to carry around, changes everything. Every spot at the campus starts reminding you of an incidence, every face that you have grown in habit of looking every day at, starts moving afar, the mess workers suddenly seem so friendly, mess food turns delicious, the spectacles become more beautiful, evening coffees with friends seem more refreshing than ever, you start noticing so many new things because finally you started looking at your college as if you will never see it again. You start living the life you had always dreamt of, only to find that it’s all going to end very soon. The last days hurt more because it’s a happiness that knows limits.

And it all strikes suddenly when your train starts for your hometown. You see the city that made your most beautiful years, passing through the window, you know you can’t do anything to stop the time, you know you can’t help it and tears roll down while your friends wave goodbye at the junction. You shout out few words of care, routine abuses and jump out of the train to hug them one last time. You know that to gain very few things in life further, you are going to lose a lot. And still you have to let the wheels of time move. All through the journey it feels as if someone had just cut a connection that was there since you began and this wound is never going to heal. Back at home, when you reach, it’s more surprising to find yourself up to nothing! Yes! Positively nothing! Even if you were not a workaholic at campus, you are unable to enjoy a stay at home, a place you rushed to at the shortest of holidays. You feel had you come a little later, you could have stolen a day more at your favorite hang out at campus, an evening more of fresh air at the sky scrapers, a night more in your hostel bed, one more fight with your room mate, one more look at your crush, one more hug from a dear friend, one more day of life!! You know none of this is possible and you soothe yourself with the cool breeze from your bedroom window half wishing that it has come touching your college and. You talk to family and distract yourself from tears, you wish for all of it to come back and start finding ways. You hope convocation was a little earlier…..You promise yourself to be in contact with those who matter and pull up your laptop to write this piece…and life goes on! J

REASON TO LIVE

REASON TO LIVE

There is this old friend of mine, XYZ, who seemed to find loss of reasons to live. He wanted me to help him with finding them. I wrote a letter to him 5 years back that I am opening for all my readers after few editions…it may be of use to some…Do let me know of the experience…after you finish reading

Dear XYZ,

If you want me to be honest with you, ya…when you asked me last night “Tell me what to do, I will surely try if I have already not tried”, I felt happy and confused at the same time. Happy because someone like you believes so much in me and confused because I was at loss of ideas suddenly. After a lot of thinking, I have concluded that you only can find a reason for continuing your life; I can only help you find it. I am not sure if I will be able to convince you or not, but I ensure you I will try to explain myself most clearly. It might seem a bit stupid that I googled ‘reasons to live’. I am not someone who understands the concept of suicide, and that too because of a reason that doesn’t deserve it. If I ever think of committing suicide, it will be because I find a reason big enough to kill myself, not because I don’t have a reason to live. Had it been anyone else, I would have been alarmed at any such decision. However, in your case, perhaps I was able to understand since I can see what’s stopping you from wanting to live. The loss of any reason accounts to be a big issue to me too. May be science taught us to rationalize everything, find cause for everything and search for reasons of everything!

Perhaps being alive is reason enough to continue living, perhaps tomorrow is reason enough, perhaps being able to see miracles is reason enough, perhaps mom’s desserts are reason enough, perhaps plans to achieve something is reason enough, perhaps maintaining ecological balance is reason enough!!….But I know in such a case, none of the reasons will suffice. It’s not because your life is actually short of reasons, but perhaps because you have closed doors for those reasons. I strongly believe that every person is different. By being in this world, you add something that was not there before and will never be again. You surely have a purpose. The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

You say that your parents will overcome your loss. Let me tell you that they may overcome the demise of XYZ, but never of their son. You can’t imagine the pain in a father’s heart at the death of a young son. They have worked up whole married life to make your life better and this is not a good time to take leave. I know this is not a reason for you as you want something on personal level, but please think it over twice.

There are people who wish to live for another day, another hour, another moment but they don’t have a choice. You have. You can choose between life and the end of it. I just want your choice to be correct…and I am not biased. I will try to understand your viewpoint too. Make your story count. And end it only when you think you made it count.

There are so many things you have got to do. If you were a married man with a wife and children, I am sure your perspective would have been different. And trust me; 5 years down the lane, you will be thankful that I stopped you from calling it a life! Who knows a person of your caliber may give the world a third category of engines, a novel magic trick that can’t be beaten, a counselor who can give people reasons to live. Perhaps you don’t give future and dreams space in your life. Dreams are what keep most people going. There should be a reason for tomorrow.

 We both don’t believe in life after death. So technically, we have just one life without Ctrl+Z. And wasting it without trying and waiting with patience for the reason to come up to the mind, can be a bit of a loss.

 "The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." ~ Rabindranath Tagore 

Few people on the internet expressed their reasons to live as follows: Find if you share their reasons to live:

·         I have been depressed for a while, but on Friday, a dyslexic boy who I have been teaching to read finally managed to get through a chapter without stopping, the look on his face when he managed it, made me happier than I had ever been before, and since then everything's seemed a lot brighter and bad things have seemed smaller and less important

·         Because before when you thought back to a time in the future when things were different to how you think they might be now, you wouldn't have realized that the way it seems to you then would be so much better!

·         The challenge of realizing that how you perceive things changes. How you perceived it before, at the moment when it happens, and then later on are almost invariably quite different, sure makes life interesting!

·         Your life is gift, but not given to you alone. Everyone you know has their own precious "you" that they love and cherish. Would go into the homes of the people who love you and smash up their precious things?

·         Music that soothes the soul, art is reason in itself.

·         Because tomorrow is a new beginning!

·         Because you never know when the next miracle is going to happen!

·         Because all the effort and thought you put into dying can also be channeled into helping you live....and however bad the now is, however you feel and whatever pain and heart wrenching anguish you feel, it will move, grow and change and ultimately lessen and pass.....universal law of recovery. Death however is completely final .There is no second thoughts, no changing your mind and no passing.

·         Because if you aren't on this earth you cannot feel the wind rush past you on a flying fox, the bubbles pound your skin in a spa bath; you can't see the gorgeous colors of a sun rise or experience the calm of that time of day, and you can’t smell the rain on the hot pavement.

·         Suicide does not end your pain; it just passes it on to the ones you love.

·         Living is really hard, but death is forever. We’re all going to die eventually, so what’s your rush' Even if you think committing suicide will make you seem tragic and romantic and cool, you’ll never know what happened anyway. Don’t you want to know how your life was supposed to turn out? Wouldn’t you like to see what you’re made of?

·         If people think things are at rock bottom and couldn't get any worse that means they can only get better from there. Think about friends and family whose hearts would be breaking. It's not the answer, live for them if you don't want to live for yourself. But nothing that happens, as bad as it gets, would ever be worth not being able to experience the world around us, for every person with a problem there is always someone who will listen.

·         If you take a decision to abstain from suicide. You can live carefree and off the edge. Hence you can try anything that a life-loving person will hesitate doing. Research indicates lots of us are happier when we feel like we have some control over our lives.

·         General randomness leads to disaster more often than not (check out the law of entropy)!!! :P

·         I have been a drug addict for 30years. I am now 2 and half years clean from it and life without drugs is a miracle for me. And here is a poem I wrote for this.

THE SECRET
I have come to this juncture in my life, merely because something in me kept saying you deserve to be happy.
Every single moment that I have come through, were all prepared for this moment right now. Imagine what you can do from this day forward with what you now know.
Now you get that you are the creator of your own destiny.
So how much more do you get to do, how much more do you get to be?
How many more people do you get to bless, simply by your mere existence what will you do with this moment?
How will you seize this moment.
No one else can dance your dance, no one can sing your song, and no one can write your story.
What you are, what you do, begins right now?
GERARD BUTTERFIELD

Here is another short poem that might make you understand why to live……

THE MISSION
There is not one of us from the day were born knows our purpose or our mission in life.
All you have to really understand what am I doing here, so our purpose is what you say it is.
Your mission is the mission you give yourself.
Your life will be what you create it as.
And no one will stand in judgment of it now or ever.
You will get to fill your life with whatever you want.
If you have filled it in with baggage from the past wipe it clean, erase everything from the past that does not serve you, and be grateful it brought you to this place now.
And now to a new beginning.
You have a clean slate, and you can start over.
Right here, Right now.
Find your joy and live it.

If you want to see more reasons people choose to live, check these links: http://www.thereasons.ca/stories.php

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2011/countless-reasons-to-live/

http://1000000reasons.tumblr.com/

 http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/arts/books/why-not-fifteen-reasons-to-live-by-ray-robertson/article2201506/

Ok, tell me one thing, if you are asked by a genie as of now, what will your 3 wishes be, if I may add make them realistic? I am sure you won’t waste your wish in asking for death. That is something you yourself can accomplish. So, just make a quick note of these wishes. And you need to do this. Make the wish list.

Now suppose for a moment you don’t have any plans of suicide. Can these three wishes become your reason to live? Can you live to turn these to reality?

If I weren’t alive today, suppose I committed suicide 2 years back, we wouldn’t have met, never talked and you might have taken the step and we both might have ended up dead. I surely like this better. I have liked the 2 years more than I would have liked death certainly. Life is called life because of the life in life! And it’s important to live fully before you die. LIVE before you die. Make it count. Death is an easy option, Life is difficult. Choose what suits you better J

It is as we continue living that we realize truly how wonderful life is! It can be seen only by giving life a chance.

Don’t you want to live on and know if Hillary is better than Obama, or if Higgs boson exists, if someone in your era discovers the reason for Mona Lisa’s smile, or may be see Darwin’s theory being negated or see the way a close friend fulfilled his/her dream, or see another Sherlock Holmes writer coming up? I am sure you are thinking, “How does it matter anyway?” And my answer is, it actually doesn’t matter, none of it matters an ounce. But that’s what life is made of-little silly things that don’t matter! But you enjoyed every bit of it when you were a child. You know why? Because you didn’t think of it…because you enjoyed what came your way. Try doing that again. Stop searching for a rational clue, stop being clever. Remain silly for a moment, and tell me honestly, does life matter?

I remember you saying that you don’t value life. Still you believe in helping others. You respect the liberty to live, the right to survival. Just think of it. Why it is not termed as ‘the right to die’? There are numerous ways to kill yourself but there is just one way of living-by not dying! Life has beautiful colors, stupendous chances, lovely people, great purposes and what not. Death has the end of it. It will eventually come anyway, why not live till then? Finding a purpose seems to be a difficult task till you don’t open yourself to the resonance of the universe. Try establishing a connection with people, things and I am sure you will find reasons. Get hold of a reason that makes you feel better in any way and you think is worth living for. Just be patient and don’tbe hasty with such a big decision like life and death.

As far as I am concerned, I wish you could remain here and stop thinking about any attempt in the other direction. May be you can’t think of a reason because you are thinking too much. It’s said that, “Everything that you run after, makes you run after it. Stop running and it comes and sit at your shoulder” Had it not been for you, I wouldn’t have ever known what Uncyclopedia, deterministic theory, being judgmental, magic and so many other things were. You add one primary color to my life that no one else can, exactly as everybody else in my life does. You are important to me, and I am sure to many others in your life. I supposed love can be an anchor point for everybody. You seem reluctant to that too. Don’t stop yourself from getting close to somebody. Love comes when you stop looking & start living. And if not that, concentrate on the love your mother’s eyes hold. I just have one request, open up and give life a chance! Don’t ask yourself ‘why?’ instead ask ‘why not?’

You gave a second thought after I met u, by chance discussed the purpose of life while talking. May be what u say is true-deterministic. Perhaps it can happen only the way it’s happening. Perhaps because you perform magic tricks, you can rationalize it, but for me, magic is that you gave it a second thought, just because I said. It feels great that somebody is alive because I chose life 2 years back! J

Life begins when you open your eyes to all the beautiful things to be happy about.

If you still are skeptic about your decision, just think of people who fight so hard with diseases like cancer and AIDS for living, Read about people like Lance Armstrong and visit, http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/arts/books/why-not-fifteen-reasons-to-live-by-ray-robertson/article2201506/

Life surely means more. Try and understand the value of it. Visit hospitals, let yourself become aware that there are people who die, but wanted to live. The main protagonist in the movie Troy says, “The Gods envy us, because we are mortal, because any moment can be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed”. Beautify the existence. Do all you always wanted to apart from dying!

I NEED A BREAK

I NEED A BREAK!!!

Time has perhaps already taken away what man took away from time. Every advancement has asked for a return from us, and that too valuable than the progress itself. If you notice, every instance will bring forward an example how man has become a slave to his everyday routine and technology. A vending machine has barred spouses making bed tea in the mornings; automatic toasters have started giving the crispiness that only mothers were capable of rendering, svelte gadgets have replaced the tape recorders that took an effort to play, walking on foot has become too tiring in presence of cheap means of transport, Google has made the world smaller that was perhaps flat once, mobile revolution has convinced people that writing letters is too slow a medium, visual classes have replaced the awesome teachers, power of love and love of power have interchanged long back, at every step humanity seems long lost…. [With all due respect, but for the sake of quoting the changes since old times] In fact men find it tedious to move razors around the face and guess what? They have automated that too!!

There comes a point in life when a person, despite all his achievements starts to think- “So what?”, “What next?”, “What’s the use?”, and “What the hell have I been doing all these years?” And that’s the time you see yourself actually. While creating an image for the world, somewhere we remain stuck in that. We forget what we are in order to prove what we can be. The realization keeps coming and we keep not attending to it. It builds up so heavily sometimes that breathing becomes secondary to it. And that’s when one realizes that he/she can’t even remember the last time when he/she did something for the first time. Okay, for an exercise, ask yourself,

·        When did you last gaze the night sky?

·        When did you last smile at the mirror?

·        When was the last time when you talked to an old friend?

·        When you sat just with yourself, not with a laptop or music player?

·        When did you last do what you mention as hobby on your resume?

·        When was the last time you appreciated someone who can’t be of any advantage to you?

·        When did you last sleep happily and content at night?

Did you answer “LONG BACK” to these questions? Trust me, we all are the same…we need a break, a desperate one!!

“If you want a different result, do something different”

Last time I had this realization, I did something about it. I paused and saw the world as it rushed past me. I saw everyone so bound to their routine and time & skill management that they have lost the innocence and simplicity they were born with. They have forgotten that happiness exists and have lost the hope of ‘life in life’. All of this reminded me of a story I was told in childhood about a greedy man. This man wanted a lot of land. The king offered him to take away all the land he could cover by walking till sunset. The man kept walking all day and just before the dusk, he covered the whole land. As he kept his last step, he died out of exertion. He was buried and all the land he finally got was some 6 feet!

Similarly, the race has become so important for us that we see just the destination without caring about the journey. Life has to be enjoyed and lived. We are not born to survive and excel. To cry out aloud, the basic purpose is to LIVE and we don’t give it a chance because we feel that getting good grades, adding bonus to salary, having a lavish house, earning appreciation of boss and thing like these matter more. However, the converse seems to be true when your hair turns grey, you retire and sit alone outside your house waiting to complete your life cycle.

Don’t let your life become a regret.  Or else it will not long before you feel so hollow inside that you breakdown at the slightest jolt to your confidence. Later, you will have money but no one to spend on, vehicles but nowhere to go, food but no hunger and life but no desire to live. Start today. Start living! It requires just small effort and a willingness to do it. And don’t excuse yourself by convincing that you have a busy life because it doesn’t take time to live. Add life to your survival. 

Go out in the morning and watch the dew on grasses even if it requires you to wake up ten minutes earlier. Sit out in the night on terrace for few moments and watch the star studded sky. Close your laptop windows and look out from windows in your room for a second. Try smiling at yourself while combing. Smile at strangers and who knows you might start making friends? Take out the slam book of your school time and read through to find out how crazy you have been. Remember your college days and remind yourself how you enjoyed living off the edge. Dust the old albums and take a look at your life. Call an old friend and let him know that it is worth having him in life. Take risks. Do something crazy every day. Tell your waiter that you loved the food and the way he served it. Talk to the security guard of your building who has seen nothing but humane machines rushing in and out of the gate and check out the surprise and gleam in his eyes. Click a photo of the children on roadside. Clean your room. Take a break from video conferences and meetings. Write a letter to your parents telling them how much you love them.  

Forget contests and search the internet for a soothing music. Don’t hesitate in appreciating people around, even if they are not an acquaintance. Don’t worry if your dream couldn’t become your job, still pursue your hobby.  Remain simple and avoid show off because in the end what YOU think of yourself is more important. Feel the connection every single thing and being poses with you. Try seeing the thin threads the world is spun with. Irrespective of who you are, you will find yourself to be at the centre of it, a part of the Supreme Being.  Don’t underestimate the power of your smile; it surely adds magic to the beholder’s life. Love unconditionally and remember, “You are not loved because you are special, you are special because you are loved”. Stop saying “love ya” routinely. For a change, give your beloved some time, sit silently and yet have the most wonderful conversation. Find a mentor. Allow life to flow through yourself. As Albert Einstein said once, “You can live in just two ways, either by believing nothing is a miracle or by believing everything is a miracle”, and trust me, the latter helps! You make your routine, don’t let the routine make you. Take a break whenever you feel like and don’t take life too seriously.

Let your true self come out of the inhibitions in your mind, because generally the one stopping you is YOU!! Do all you would have done, had you known that you couldn’t fail. Have confidence that all you have done is a result of your efforts and deeds and you can change things as and when you want to. Believe that you are the creation’s favorite child who is here to fulfill a space no one in the universe ever can, because you are the only one of your kind. You must be what they all call ‘SPECIAL’!!! J