Saturday, November 26, 2011


“It is not the strongest of the species that survive or the most intelligent, but the ones who are most adaptive to change”-Mostly attributed to Charles Darwin

When you are through changing, you are through.  ~Bruce Barton
Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
Tomorrow be today.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 "Accept what you can’t change and change what you can’t accept…" How true is it? Can one actually change the things he/she can’t accept? Probably no... One can change oneself but certainly not the situation…that is what I feel…many will disagree…I do understand…now this again is something that can’t be changed!!! However hard you try, not every person around you agrees. It’s not negative in any sense…it’s just a situation; one CAN’T change because everyone IS different. My Abhivyakti today is on the inevitable…’CHANGE’.

Ever wondered what changed inside you that makes you run away from rain that you loved to dance in? Why you don’t appreciate your mother’s smile anymore while it was enough to make you laugh aloud when you were a baby? Why you aren't happy at your father’s approval? Why the sight of a zoo doesn’t excite you now? Why a train is now just a means of transport? Why flowers are just meant to be given at official presentations? Why your girlfriend/boyfriend is no more attractive? Why your spouse is not able to decide that you love them or just live with them? Why you eat to survive? Why you have a watch but no time? Why you have money but no desires? Why your friends have forgotten you? Why you don’t see yourself in the mirror and smile anymore? Why is it that life started being monotonous? Why nothing changes?
Because YOU changed…………

I am also the common person who starts finding shade in sun, roof in rain, comfort in living, security in relations, respect in colleagues, love in friends, companion in a crowd, shoulder to rest on and somebody who listens. In the race to be unique, I forgot to be common.  I forgot that every single thing around me is happening FOR ME. Every flower I see on my way is meant to be there, just for me to enjoy it, every single person I meet on the way is there to cross my way, the Sun rises to see my well being, people were created to be my friends, my college was built so that I could come and study, the universe was created so that I could be born and be a part of the creation. It’s difficult to actually feel this, but when you do, you will understand that everything around you is a miracle. Every molecule of air, every drop of water, every smile, every tear, every person, every feeling and every object becomes magical. Every day becomes special. Today is special for me, because today someone made me understand that however I looked, behaved or dressed, I was special, very special. And so is everyone. One just needs feel what no one else can feel, feel oneself. And when I felt the miracle today, somehow I could control the speed of rain and the presence of Sun!!

Today I did all I never do. I woke up early, took a morning walk, walked over the grass, caressed the dew, saw the Sun playing peek-a-boo with the clouds, drenched myself in rain at least after a decade, felt every drop of it falling on my face, imbibing it inside me, touched streams of water running down the barks of trees, jumped in small puddles, broke some rules, laughed aloud, talked a lot, (yes! I didn’t speak today, I talked), sang   to myself, had a relaxing bath and am doing what I love the most, I am writing! Today has been a miracle, not because I did different things but because I am different today. I understand that “Today is a gift and hence it’s called ‘present’!!”
It’s true that when time changes, no one can remain same. Of course a CEO can’t actually jump into puddles and an employee can’t make faces at the boss…but, why not change the change? Why not try a different change?


The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists  ~Japanese Proverb

It took a long discussion with my friend to understand that change is necessary because I am a stern believer in ‘being myself’.  I can finally make out that being oneself is at a very personal level and change is at a social level. One remains the same since birth to death. Difficult to believe??
Ok, then how do you explain a grown up crying out of happiness at the birth of his/her child? the enthusiasm of a mountain climber at the sight of a cliff? the thrill in a 90 year old at a place of worship? the tears of an Olympic winner at the prize ceremony? Match these emotions and you will find that the people never changed. They can feel emotions as strongly as they could earlier at smaller but surely equally important things. Just the frequency has decreased, that too since they have wanted the same. I came across the quote “Crying doesn't indicate you are weak, it has always been a sign that you are alive”

In the attempt to flaunt ourselves, we cover every emotion under the camouflage of showoff, not only in monetary terms, but also in relations, friendship and work. while being oneself, if you find change in yourself, accept it. This change comes from the situations. It must have been required. You don’t need to explain it to anyone but yourself. Stop manipulating your feelings; they don’t come with a feedback!! Feelings must be what you feel, not what you want to feel. You don’t need to say someone that you still love him/her if you don’t feel the same anymore. You don’t need to feel ashamed to say your wife that she can’t scold your mother. You don’t need to feel awkward for opposing your friend. You don’t need to act with close ones. Give them the respect of honesty at least. It hurts to admit the truth but for a short term, it paves way for a happier long term. You don’t have to think before doing something that you know is rightHowever, this doesn't mean banging your boss’s head! Discretion lies in your hands always. :P

You have to change according to the situation, not for the situation!

“Change before you have to”     -Jack Welch

The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me.  The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them ~George Bernard Shaw

 Choice of adaptation and fighting in a change rests with us. Even if a change doesn't occur for good which it generally does, try to understand that this is the way life happens to everyone. What is not yours was never meant to be yours. What is yours will be passed on to someone else. If you have anything that you feel is going to last forever, you are being foolish. If you want someone to stay forever, you are asking for the impossible, because anything, however strong, will change ultimately.
The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. -Harold Wilson

"Your very life depends upon your willingness to change"

However, life is too short to be spent in worry of what’s coming next. We need to look through and find ways to look at the change in a different way. Give a chance to short term, change your looks, experiment with your hair, try a new nail paint, go to a gym, get a new phone, buy some trendy outfits, feel the breeze, be crazy, feel happy and young, have the talent to hold on but have the courage to let go, give a smile to your neighbor and the mirror… because there are few things you can change. Don’t resist those. J The power is to change is in your hands too. 

Change your life before life changes you! 

 Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.  -W. Somerset Maugham