Sunday, April 17, 2016

The Tantalizing ‘Temporaries’

The Tantalizing ‘Temporaries’!
“Forever” and “Happily Ever After” are the way we have always seen a perfect life as. I feel it has got nothing and everything to do with those diabetically sweet fairy tales from childhood. The prince and the princess who spent a lifetime together, the couple that got married, the true-love kiss that brought the princess to life, the grandparents who grew old together, the brothers who got lost and met again to spend an eternity happily, this is all that we heard and read about.

What about the ones who didn’t? What about few people who just crossed your way? What about the lovers who couldn’t make it? What about them who assumed that all love went down the drain because it couldn’t end in a marriage? What about the relationships that ended in misunderstandings and what about those that never took off due to society? What about those who had too much love but a matching ego? What about awesome friendships that got lost in distance? What about people who could never forgive a loved one? What about a little love that remained for the ex-es even after marrying someone else? What about brothers who fought over property when they grew older but somewhere the childhood love kept haunting them? How about those who couldn't have their ‘forevers’?


My father often quotes his favorite poet, an age old one, where he talks about life being like a water bubble, life itself being the most temporary dimension and then we talk about ‘forevers’ and ‘eternities’. Although I myself am a believer of a few constants, a few things one’s life revolves around, but are they the only things in life? May be the centre remains the same all through, but what about the varying orbits? What about the distance we cover during a lifetime while the centres stay in their place, always there for you?


Perhaps the ‘temporaries’ do claim a space in our heads and heart, but how often do we mouth them? How often do we gather courage to tell our spouses that we still remember our first love? How often do we have the courage to look at our own journals from a decade back? How many of us can bring ourselves to listen to the music that we once loved and then hated for such a long time? How often does the silence not deafen us with sounds from the past? How many of us can think of our past without flinching? How many times have we avoided memories, good and bad alike? Good because they are not there any more and bad because we don’t want to revisit times when we fooled ourselves. How many of us will walk past the memory lane and accept the physical and mental scars, acknowledge their presence and then return to our forevers (which sadly again are temporaries)?

Do we really ever forget the butterflies in stomach when our first crush looked back at us? When our best friend (among the tens of ‘besties’ we had every year!) held our hands while we were literally thrown out of the classroom? When the first date (and nothing else) happened!!? When although someone might have broken our hearts, they were the ones who made it pump in the first place? How many of us can acknowledge that there were people, who came into our lives for a really short while, but changed it forever? That we are who we are, because they existed?


Life does come a full circle.

At times, people forget their anniversary, take each other for granted and hurt each other beyond measure while the relationship is going. They then forgive each other on an ‘anniversary’ , years later, after there technically cannot be an anniversary!

People promise an engagement and then move away the same year. They bump into the same person with their ‘another’ love of lifetime and look into each other’s’ eyes and know that they have been forgiven.

Couples cheat on each other, cry, fight and separate. Then one day, one of them becomes a parent with someone completely different. And yet that day, they look their kid and can’t think of christening them by any name other than what they decided in their very first relationship!

One day a mother who can’t explain her son’s explicit love for all the things she used to hate in her first boyfriend, calls him to say, “Now I understand you. Thank you and sorry”

One day a widower calls his girlfriend from college. When she picks up, he only says “Sorry…wrong number”. She forgives him for not being brave enough to marry her, but dies in peace of knowing that he wanted it as much as her.

Friends fighting over each other’s time get together after a decade and it doesn’t even take a moment to realize nothing ever changed. They just had to look for a little longer.

Brothers fight a lifetime for a property that doesn’t even matter and then beg for forgiveness from each other. A pat from the elder soothes the younger, just like old times in the playground.


Temporaries never really leave our side. We carry their burdens our whole life. Sometimes without realizing, sometimes in full consciousness. Time undoubtedly is lost in between all the commotion, but when we see back, perhaps all will be worth it. Because the first girlfriend/boyfriend cheated, you chose the next one more carefully. Because the first relation couldn’t work, you put more into the next one. Because the first ever relationship you thought will last a lifetime, the third one actually did! Because it couldn’t work with the wrong person, you found the right one. Perhaps there was nothing wrong ever with the ‘firsts’ and yet they didn’t work, you stopped dreaming and then you actually found your ‘Neverland’. Because you kept fighting for something worthless, you came across something that made you worthwhile! The challenge only is to accept the existence of temporaries and give ourselves time to absorb its importance.


One day we would realize that destinations are truly overrated. It’s the journey that matters. All the hands that we held in the process matter. All the smiles that we gathered, matters. All the moments that we thought were permanent and which then became temporary matter.  Scars that make us more beautiful and memories that make us stronger matter.





You value it because they don’t exist any more. If there was no end to life, no uncertainty around every day, would Gods still be jealous of the human life form? Would we really rate permanents over temporaries? It’s commas vs full stops and when you realize every full stop is just a comma, extended a little longer. After all, our day is a mayfly’s ‘forever’!


We are a little of every hand that ever caressed our head, a little of every voice that soothed our loneliness, a little of every smile that adorned our day, a little of every hand that reached out for us in melancholy, a little of every moment that made our lives worth living, a little of every person who touched our hearts.....They say, nothing is permanent, and yet "forever" is what we want, "permanent" is what we find enriching....Not at all challenging the importance of things that we hold constant since whenever we have them, but in the ever changing world, should we sometimes reflect on the temporary and embrace them with all the love they deserve? Perhaps it's time......

The best part is, like the constants in your life, once you had a temporary, no one can take it back from you. Temporaries also stay with you, FOREVER! J




82 comments:

  1. It left me with teary eyes.....
    Thanks for writing this for me. :)

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    1. If I really could touch your heart that deeply, I am the one who should be thankful Saurabh! :)

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  2. The virtue of expressing something as beautifully as this is an art and nothing less!!
    Well done Trisha!
    I am sure I could realte to it in a way which made the wisdom of wises seems like a cacaphony!

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    1. Thank you so much Watan! I love the way you express your love for the piece! :)

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  3. Trisha!! I read it! I reread it! And reread it! Loved it to the core! Loved each time I read it! Loved every line! Loved every word! Don't ever give up writing!! Let this be one of your constants! From one if your ardent fans alolika

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    1. Alolika, Thank you very much! You are one of the few who read me before I found myself acceptable in a new place as a writer. Thanks for that and thanks for this love! :)

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  4. Trisha! I read it! I reread it! Reread it yet again! Loved it to the core! Loved every line! Loved every word! Please don't ever give up writing!! Let this be one of your constants!! From one of your ardent fans :)

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  5. Keep them coming... No temporaries here :)

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    1. Ohhh!! Thank you so much! I will surely keep writing :)

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  6. This absolutely true and beautifully put. Trisha you have really penned down, the reality we all live with in our lives.
    Good read :)

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    1. Dear Jiju! Thanks a ton for taking time out to read! Temporaries indeed are the only constants! :)

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  7. You rarely come across an article which takes you back in time and has the power to make you relive those moments again. It left me speechless and I craved for more .Thank you Trisha!!

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    1. Dear Asim,

      Thank you so much for the kind words! I can keep writing for awesome readers like you! :)

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  8. You rarely come across an article which takes you back in time and has the power to make u relive the moments again. It left me speechless and craving for more. Thank you Trisha!!

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  9. And just like that , you brought back a mix of emotions and flashes. Like a roller coaster running through my head.
    You're a genius.
    Thank you

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    1. Dear Sunil,

      Thank you so much for the compliments! It feels great to touch so many lives through words! :)

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  10. A wonderful piece of writing...
    A garland of wisdom...!!!


    Thank you Trisha

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    1. Thank you for the kind words Samir! :)

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  11. This article is a marvelous piece of art. Simply love it. Thanks a lot for this lovely read Trisha :)

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    1. Awww Anusha! Thank you so much for reading! :)

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  12. I really appreciate the approach of telling the truth in a very smooth way... Its so true but takes a great time to understand the simple concept of life... Thanks for these lovely "Words" 😊

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    1. Dear Bijaya,

      Thank you! A few things just need the right words to be understood. Love that you found it worth your words!

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  13. I m just speechless...i m still into it....it touched my heart ...it's the reality of many lives...awesome pc of writing !!
    The most imp kind of freedom is to be wat u really are . You trade in ur reality for a role. You giv up ur ability to feel and in exchange,put on a mask.

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    1. And these masks suffocate people to death and then they realise that they never really lived!

      Dear Sonal,
      Thank you for reading! It feels so good that we all connect on a few basic things!

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  14. Its more dan awesome...i m still into it... wonderful pc of writing...its the reality of many lives.
    You can close ur eyes to reality but not to memories...

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    1. Woww! This truly is overwhelming! Sonal thank you and please keep in touch. Would surely let you know when the next piece is out.... :)

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  15. Replies
    1. Thank you so much Subhashree! Means a lot that my readers find the writings genuine. :)

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  16. Such a wonderful words!
    I loved reading this.

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    1. Thank you so much Kush! I loved writing it too! :)

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  17. As always, Mr. Himanshu Shekhar passed on the following feedback over email. On his behalf,

    Hello Trisha !

    Once again Amazing work !

    This time i am seeing lots of experiment . It seems, i am going through the blog of professional columnist.

    Keep writing .........

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  18. Today, a link was silently dropped in my inbox, anonymous. Traces of the mail, unveiled the source. It was 'her'- my 'Temporary'.
    This was unusual. It's been long since she ever contacted me. With cold hands and racing heartbeat I proceeded to click it in- unwrap our seven folds of silence.
    And that's exactly how I landed upon 'The Tantalizing Temporaries!'. What a way to break the stillness.
    The diaries of those golden days just ruffled back in a moment- those music, those streets, those cafes and the restaurants, even after living in the same city which we never visited again- all those safely kept memories uncorked for a while.
    Thanks to her for sharing it with me.. And thanks a lot to you Trisha, for coming up with this beautiful art, having made her to share it, piercing the sombre silence bubbling since years.
    True it is that we might never be 'Forever', yet we would now know, subconsciously or consciously that the spaces in between our fingers are never empty. They are eternally entwined in one another's memories, every second of a day, every moment.
    "Temporaries also stay with you, FOREVER!"
    Thanks a lot for the realisations you ignited.
    It made my day.
    Thank you.

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    1. Dear Abhishek,

      This is by far one of those moments that I can't get outt of, neither do I want to! This is way too amazing a feeling.

      Till today, I had a feeling that I connected in a way to all my readers through my words. Never knew a few words could change someone's memories of someone so profoundly. I had always believed in the fact that almost everything happens for a reason. Never knew the reason for writing this could be so huge. Thank you so much for letting me know that this was such a huge impact. I know how much of courage 'she' must have gathered to share this and break the silence preserved since years. I am really happy to play a small role in your big story. It wonderful to know that a few temporaries could be as beautiful as the constants.

      I am still bound in the moment Abhishek. All stories are beautiful, a few so special that they deserve being listened to. Over and over again! Would love to get connected. Not just because things turned out the way they did today for you, but also because the way they turned out to be for me.

      I am sure, I can't be as happy as you, but believe me, I am really really happy. For the first time I feel that I as a person am important to the world, in my small way.

      Thanks for making my day and adding a beautiful constant to my life! :)

      Sincerely,
      Trisha

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  19. Wonderful.....I am actually falling short of words or expression of how i feel after reading this.. It's like hearing my own emotions speaking if they could....Great Job Trisha....Really.

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    1. Dear Rahit,

      Thank you so much! Woww, if I was able to connect to your emotions that well, I sure am enthralled to keep writing 'forever'! :)

      Means a lot that you took time out to read and letting me know! :)

      Sincerely,
      Trisha

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  20. Hi Trisha, just read this beautiful piece written by you and can only say thank you for it. Each word, each line made me travel through my forever temporaries.... It brought to life a memories that had been safely locked away years ago. Made me relive all my years gone by in a few minutes, rekindling emotions that were felt so strong during those days, trips taken, time spent, memories encapsulated and the idea of building my forever. Really touched by what you have written and can't agree more that temporaries are forever.

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    1. Dear Molshree,

      Thank you so much for believing in the piece. Thank you for letting me know that it connected to you exactly the same way it connected to me :)

      Getting to know that so many individuals resonate with the feeling, however temporary, this feeling and gratitude are forever! :)

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  21. Hi Trisha. I was brought here through a link that a friend shared on Facebook.

    You've written very well. The thoughts that you've shared are very mature. I work with a team that analyses how inherent personalities are reflected in the writings of an author. I'd like to know your background story as well. How can I do that?

    Regards

    Tarun K

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    1. Dear Tarun,

      Thank you so much for your kind words! It's good to know that there are intense studies like that. Feels great to ignite the interest of such a team.

      Please share your email id as a comment (Wouldn't be posted publicly) and I will surely write back. :)

      Regards,
      Trisha

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  22. Trisha Jee,Failed to understand how did u know my story? I mean I alwez wanted to traverse back in time and mend those small lil scars that took people away from me.I alwez wanted those commas though unknowingly life has rented their place to the full stops.Its an awesome testimony of my insecurities...from your pen...stay blessed friend and keep writing...Cheers

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    1. Haha! I am positive that each story is different and yet the same. We all go weak in the knee for someone and let commas define us till the time they become a full stop. Thanks for reading and your kind words! :)

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  23. Very well written !! I guess it captured all emotions !!!
    Thanks..

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  24. A friend of mine msgd the link saying that she had this feeling that I might like it, she was right :) It's beautifully written :) keep writing !

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind words Mukul! And thanks to your friend too! Feels great that people find it worth sharing! :)

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  25. Its beautifully written... Its something incredibly real... As it says scar tissue is stronger than real tissue...

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    1. Dear Shubhartho,

      It gives me immense pleasure to know that my writing is actually helping people close things. Thank you very much for letting me know and thanks for your kind words! :)

      Sincerely,
      Trisha

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  27. It left me wordless Trisha. We generally are so worried about permanent existence that we forget that nothing is , not even our life. Beautifully expressed

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    1. Thank you so much Deepa! It's strange how a few words leave us so silent...It's great to know that this piece could achieve this! :)

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  28. Reading this gave me Goosebumps... right now I I really have so many temporary people and moments which are bad and good and your writing just made me clear about my thoughts towards my life... I really appreciate you chose this deep thought to be written in words..

    Thank you so much. :)

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    1. Dear Hussain,

      It was one thing to know that readers enjoyed what I wrote. It is all over a new and extremely ecstatic feeling to know that it is touching lives so profoundly. Hope things work out well for you :)

      Sincerely,
      Trisha

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  29. Its beautiful...the lump that choked the throat throughout was unknown to me for long...thanx for the resurfacing of some long forgotten emotions..

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    1. Thank you! The piece just meant to acknowledge and soften our lumps by going back and accepting the past, knowing that it can't be changed and sometimes that's a good thing!

      Thank you so much for reading! Hope to keep seeing you back on the blog! :)

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  30. Its beautiful...the lump that choked the throat throughout was unknown to me for long...thanx for the resurfacing of some long forgotten emotions..

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    1. Thank you! The piece just meant to acknowledge and soften our lumps by going back and accepting the past, knowing that it can't be changed and sometimes that's a good thing!

      Thank you so much for reading! Hope to keep seeing you back on the blog! :)

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  31. its a beautiful piece. soul touching and definitely causes one to reminisce his "good" past and relive it.

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    1. Dear Yatin,

      Thank you so much for your kind words! It's wonderful to know that this piece of writing struck you so positively! :)

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  32. It's an amazing piece of work answering so many unasked and unanswered questions and truly heart touching!
    Keep writing always :)

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    1. Dear Kristen,

      Thank you so much for reading! I am elated that this piece could answer any of those questions. Perhaps world would been a much better place had we started to ask them! Lovely to have readers like you who can see it through for what it is intended to be! :)

      Sincerely,
      Trisha

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  33. Reality of life explained in simple words!! Great Work Sony!!Keep it up

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    1. Thank you so much Bhabhi! Thanks for being the support I needed :)

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  34. one of the best writings ever read... Incredible..!! u are just amazing and would look forward for such articles trisha..ur writings are absolutely appreciable.. reality of life personified in your article... thanku :)

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    1. Dear Akshita,

      Thank you so much for your kind words! Your words ooze with the delight you are filled with and I feel really fortunate for being someone who could connect with you, even if it's temporarily! :)

      Regards,
      Trisha

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  35. Well done trisha! Your analogy & ability to encapsulate even minute aspect of one's life impressed me. XIMB is proud to have you.
    Continue with your writing. Goodluck!

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    1. Thank you so much Rohit. Coming from you, it means a lot! :)

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  36. What a beautiful way to look at life.It really gives a girl like me who sees everything black and white , such a beautiful insight.Every temporary scars that we had in our lives are things that gives us a lesson on something and makes us stronger , and there's nothing we should be ashamed of, rather travelling down the memory lane, sharing it with someone , will bring a sense of realization of what we were then, what we are now..and what we made out of it.And again I love this article.

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    1. Wow! It's a delight to find readers like you, who don't just read, but add a lot to the piece too! Lovely to know that you could relate to it :)

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  37. What a beautiful way to look at life.It really gives a girl like me who sees everything black and white , such a beautiful insight.Every temporary scars that we had in our lives are things that gives us a lesson on something and makes us stronger , and there's nothing we should be ashamed of, rather travelling down the memory lane, sharing it with someone , will bring a sense of realization of what we were then, what we are now..and what we made out of it.And again I love this article.

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    1. Wow! It's a delight to find readers like you, who don't just read, but add a lot to the piece too! Lovely to know that you could relate to it :)

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  38. I dated a lovely lady for 4 years before marrying her against my family's wishes. But after the marriage i couldn't be the husband she wanted me to be. Slowly my priorities shifted towards higher education and i got almost no time to talk to my wife for months. Now it is too late and she has decided to leave me. Inspite of all the beggings and prayers i couldn't convince her back. She said that once we arr divorced i may try to woo her back and she will be available. I wish i knew what to do!!

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    1. Hi there!

      I have heard instances where it couldn't end up into marriage, making it temporary...I can only imagine how painful it would be to see a constant becoming temporary...While I am pained to see this happened, I am also feeling warm in my heart on the way you want her back.

      It's a little sad that things we always took for granted leave us out of blue. I understand you wouldn't have imagined it could have happened. Now that it did, it's right on your part to feel bad about losing something you always had, on losing something you fought so ardently for. However, it might be right for her as well to try to walk away. Of everything, ladies once committed, certainly need their man's time. You both wanted the same things, just at different times...This does become taxing in relationships.

      To be honest, no one can feel what you are feeling currently, But as a person who is understanding your position, I just wish to say that communication solves more problems than we can imagine. If you both are not at the same location, fly back to her and say that you love her. Show her some pictures, take her for a holiday, let her know that you will be there to woo her always and you don't want to lose time in a divorce, u wish to keep wooing her for life not because she is a lady, but because she deserves it as a person who stuck around in bad times and good.

      I really hope you both will be able to sort it out before it reaches a stage where you both are hurt irreparably. Please don't lose time and talk to her. Dear 'Boy on the move', It's time to be on the move! All the very best!

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    2. Can you plz share your mail id? I will explain the situation in details. I feel you have a gifted ability to touch one's heart.

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    3. Hi there!

      It's wonderful to know that, more so from a reader of my blog! I will certainly be happy to help!

      Please share your email id as a comment (Wouldn't be posted publicly) and I will surely write back. :)

      Regards,
      Trisha

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  39. A masterpiece! The power of words is unimaginable, indeed. I have become a fan of yours after reading this. Teary eyes!

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    1. Hi there!
      Thank you so much for reading. It means a lot to have your 'words' here! :)

      Trisha

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  40. I loved it. It touched my heart and left me in tears. You've a great power to move people by your words.

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    1. Dear Bharti,

      I am fortunate enough to have touched your heart in any way. Thank you so much for reading and letting me know that you loved it! I do look forward to have you back on the blog :)

      Love,
      Trisha

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  41. I loved it. It touched my heart and filled my eyes with tears. You've a great power to move people by your words. Another fan following starts today. :)

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