IS BAD A NECESSARY EVIL?
Let me post
it before I change my decision of scraping it off…and you all better read it
before I decide taking it off from here….because I am possibly the angriest I
can be!
I write this in complete frustration of the storm I am
holding inside. I am angry, very angry. Not on someone or something. I am
generally angry. Mostly on myself. I am frustrated to the limits of heavy
breathing and hyperventilation, even scratching my head (!!) and it’s no one’s
but my fault. I tend to be over-caring, sometimes being nice to people and I go
out of my way to accomplish it. Sometimes trying hard to not show my negative reactions
on people. (Those who know me just little
will laugh their hearts out on this because I am someone who shows reactions on
every single thing. I make sure I am heard before I accept something that I don’t
believe; although I have worked on my listening capabilities!) I am talking
about people I am really really close to. I gathered over time that people are
obviously more important than arguments and tend to accept what the other
person says, either to avoid hurting them by careless words or may be just
avoid any further arguments and lose any further energy. I am not someone who
believes in just accepting something without reasons, though. I believe in
talking my heart out, (that explains the loquaciousness),
in arriving to a conclusion through a healthy discussion. I like ends closed. My
inner self demands a proper closure. I
hence end up fighting up with myself while the vicious arguments and
counter-arguments keep going on in my head. And I end up asking myself, “Does
niceness need to be carried to a level where it starts rusting your insides?”
Sometimes when I ponder over the reason I want to be nice to
people, I fear the honest response that my mind throws back – “Aren’t you being nice to people to be perceived
as a nice person, Aren’t you just continuing on the camouflage just because you
don’t want to break the ‘good girl’ image, Aren’t you hiding your weaknesses by
acting all around?” There is a ‘congenial behavior’ and then there is pathetic
self-destructing attempt at being benign. This reminds me of an episode in the popular
TV series, ‘Friends’ where one of the character claims “There is no selfless good deed”. How true!! Childhood is the best; your tantrums are okay
because you are a kid. Once you grow up, you are expected to hold everything
inside, even if it’s breaking you down. It’s not anyone’s mistake, it’s how the
society made its way. Still, somewhere,
it gets on everyone’s nerves. All of us are angry on each other and not all the
anger can always be shown and be done with it. Some of it stays, becomes bigger
with time and explodes out at the most inappropriate time.
When it’s building up, every single thing irritates….People
have all the time in the world to know “He
dropped an egg into his coffee….because he is a genius, She crossed the road…because
she is genius, he threw his child, but
when I saw why…I knew he was a genius” OMG!!! Einstein just got an
inferiority complex!! Whatsapp keeps pinging all day long…there must be
numerous groups we rather put on mute than exiting from there, because we are ‘NICE’. Honking vehicles, pollution,
smoking zones, smirks, running nose, low energy everything becomes so
unbearable at these times. Sometimes when the person in front talks of the most
irrational things, we rather listen to them and try ignoring it because, OMG,
who will handle guilt of being ‘not nice/good’,
it’s obviously rather easy to make guilty than be guilty!
When I thought of a personal superman for everyone, I forgot
to talk of a ‘Joker ’ needed for everyone too. Although your superman will be
there for all times, in thick and thin, but can you take a chance to hurt
someone like him/her? Would you not be dead cautious about the way you treat
them because they are so valuable? There should be someone you can hate completely
and without guilt. Someone so bad that all your behaviors, however bad, are
still justified, despite you being a grown-up. Someone who everyone detests,
someone made for hatred. It’s strange that in a world full of terrorism and
supposedly ‘bad people’, it’s not just difficult, but impossible to find
someone who is disliked by EVERYONE. So let’s move to someone who is hated by a
majority. Let’s just consider Ravana, most of us now know that he was a staunch
Pundit, still he is bad for most of
us because he raged a war against our favorite Rama. But have we ever thought
on the fact that Rama wouldn’t have existed for us, had Ravana not been there?
That there would have been no Krishna without a Kansa, no batman without a
joker and no Spiderman without his ever changing enemies? Isn’t bad a necessary
evil then? Isn’t bad the breeding ground for good? Isn’t bad the actual good?
How about the Hulk?
Lucky are the ones who
have someone they can whole-heartedly detest, because the bad relations
actually help us save the good ones! J When I
started writing this, I was back from a really long tiring day, ready to hit
anyone who messes with me, had just invested a pail of ‘angry-frustrated-meaningless’
tears into my ever-reliable pillow and screamed out my frustration in a closed
room loud. I didn’t feel as good as I feel after penning this down. Now that
the words have flown (as must be very clear in the progress of the piece through paragraphs :P), I feel myself, I found my closure! J
