As easy as life was....it continues to get tougher. With every birthday that I celebrate days start looking so much difficult to survive. Where did so many responsibilities get loaded? Where did the point of always making sense come from? Since when am I expected to choose? Since when I am expected to make decisions? Since when managing my whole finance get started? Since when I started being bad to someone? Since when hurting someone became necessary for setting things 'right'? I am fine growing old but I hate growing up!
Last time I checked one should get happy looking at children...how come my first reaction, looking at a child is burst out crying? Looking at the way everything is always perfect in their world, someone always to look out for, someone always ready to clear any magnitude of filth they make around them, someone to always say that "Okay no next time"
How come I get just one chance? Just one, to decide and be right? How come I am expected to set everything right? How come everything is expected on time? Why is there no diary of complaints, where everyone could write and only my mom got to decide which ones I was to blame for and which ones are not my fault? Some way that could explain people I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.... I am tired of being a grown up...
I loved the carelessness of the child I was. How I could engineer a wind mill with a leaf and a twig and could keep running beyond forever to keep it whirling...how I could bring the house to a pin drop silence because my doll needed some sleep....how the only competition was the number of bubbles someone could make out of a safety pin...how a white stone that could spark, was strategically rescued by my brother from 'goons' of the colony...how I could keep posing and my dad could be a photographer whole day long!.....how I could be rebellious and all I could break was a toy, never a heart...how I could decide anything and never fear a loss I could bring to fortune 500 company....how I could almost ask of anything without depriving anyone else of something...how I was capable of never being bad...how there were always same set of dolls getting married....how there never was any doubt, no second thought needed for practically everything in life...how all I had to choose was the frock I wanted to wear for the day.....how easy was an understatement....
I can really give off anything to bring back those days....I can...perhaps even if it means growing up in exactly same way...I don't regret anything that has happened as I sincerely believe in a reason for all that happens...but sincerely a time travel will be the only thing I would ask of Aladdin's lamp. Having never to make a difficult decision, having never to hurt anyone, having to know that all you can do to people is show wonderfully miraculous moments is being a child....and I am losing that very swiftly....May the child within us live forever :)
"Give me some sunshine, give me some rain
Give me another time, I wanna grow up once again!"
