A Progress in Progress!

My favorite piece of my writing remains “The Tantalizing Temporaries”. It has been read around 22,000 times and had some awe-inspiring discussions from readers of my blog and other sites where it has been featured among top 50 pieces. In many ways, it has stopped me from writing again, making me anxious if I could ever write that well again. Perhaps it was the beauty of the mind space I was in or the topic itself so relatable to the audience. May be someday when deep emotions strike as strong, I may write another as loved piece, but till then, these makeshifts will do, hopefully.

And only on lonely, dark, silent and cold nights do I ever feel like writing. I have tried being on dutiful writing regime earlier but somehow the system fails. It only comes when it comes. Months pass by postponing, but somehow, when it does, time and date don’t matter. Not that I don’t find nights inspiring, but I guess, we writers, have a way of romanticizing anything lonely, dark, silent and cold. All these things feel like our freedom, giving us a chance to be whatever we feel like being – no judgement.

30s is a time like that in life – the happy place and a great life stage to live in. How much ever it may seem so, but I don’t mean it in a consoling way! You have filtered out the energy draining people, you don’t think twice about blocking away the kind of energy you wouldn’t want near you, you are out of each one of those relationships that once seemed “the one”, you care less and only when necessary, you have the security of a livelihood and comfort of knowing that your parents no more worry on the basic stuff about you and you are in a position to worry about them and help in certain ways, you feel independent in your own skin and you get more confident about handling life. Well, perhaps, only till the time your parents ask for your opinion on the dinner table, about anything – That certainly stumps you. When did you get so much older that you earned a place in a meaningful discussion, since when your opinion is important enough to make into a decision. Man, that’s scary! It has too much responsibility blanketed within. But yeah, 30s still is great.

While it’s great, it also leads to too many friends going the family way, grocery shopping becoming the only outing, lazing around becoming your favorite “activity” and eventually to a lot of free time. All of this dedicated to either watching a screen or overthinking every damn thing in past, future and present and romanticizing them, to the extent of listening to the clock and feeling sorry about absolutely nothing. Or maybe the passing seconds? Life has happened so much so till this stage that comfort becomes uncomfortable and tranquility becomes unbelievable. That may not just be because of how chaotic and challenging the 20s are while you are figuring out literally everything – from career to love to what you want from life but also because of how fast the brain gets tired of not having new challenges suddenly. The education system, at least for us, millennials has been strangely engaging – not really in the positive terms. So much was expected and so much was already decided for us that one never had the time to really reflect and think what we ever wanted. And to be honest, the Baby Boomers are not to be blamed – they only did what they thought was best for the millennials - Survival.

The GenY, caught between the survival instincts of GenX and risk-taking ability of GenZ will always remain in the balancing act. While banking through the digital tools, we are comfortable knowing that there is some “Mishra Ji” who we know by name and face at the physical bank. While we saw the yellow filament lights turn to white lights, we are seeing the yellow becoming premium again. While we claim to be thick-skinned now, those ‘Tiny Tales’ still strike a chord. While the new content on Netflix and Amazon may keep us glued, we will keep going back to little bit of “Sarabhai” and “Friends” and may be even “Dekh Bhai Dekh” or “Malgudi Days”. While being on our own may be the in-thing, booking those costly tickets to home on watching that “Ghar Wali Diwali” commercial is trendier – “Wherever life may take you, love brings you back!” While we may fight our moms every single day, they are ones we will run back to her in split of a second. While we may be ‘pretty-sure’ of something, we will always be unsure within. While we will buy too many books, we may not be able to find time for them. While we may go on those envied solo trips, we will be travelling for the social status too. While we may be advocating living in the moment, we are the same people who are still trading reality for a role. While we reach out to our greatest achievements, some of our greatest fears lie bare. While we may all feel settled in life, we are quite unsettled in our heads.

So much uncertainty still awaits in life, so much eventualities and so much still to figure out. 30s may seem like maturity but it’s a long way from there, a milestone at best. On a lighter note, I have a friend in 30s who genuinely barks at dogs when drunk!

I remember reading somewhere “It’s growth that generates happiness, not achievements”. And then another of my most favorite sayings of all times, “There are many things that can make us happy, nothing that can keep us happy”. In that sense, we are all unfinished businesses.

May we remain WIP till we RIP. Amen!